If I were a boy

Things I learned from guys that I would so like to be able to do when dating. Now I know these are generalities but bear with me here:

1. Get in an argument and not obsess over it after
2. Be on my own schedule
3. Not sweat the allegedly "small stuff"
4. Not be bothered with spending money on cute under garments and night gowns
5. Call you back hours later after telling you I'd call you right back and not care that it would make you mad
6. Say whatever's on my mind and in the way I want to say it
7. Wear flat shoes when I go out at night and still feel sexy!
8. After I eat too much, unzip my pants and sit on the couch and not care

Things I like about being a girl and dating:

1. Playing dress up
2. Not always fitting the bill (I will from time to time)
3. Being looked out for
4. Sometimes getting my way just by smiling (or wearing the right outfit)

Although my girl list is shorter, I still think I prefer the girl style of dating but I am working on the good things about the boy style of dating to take for myself. Man, what my world would be like if I stopped caring if a guy called me back. Do guys stare at their phones willing their girlfriend to call them like they show women doing in the movies? And if not, how do they just turn it off and not care? Seriously though, how? It's a mystery...

Psst, fellas

I'm no expert on dating but as a woman who has dated for more years than I care to share if I had to give advice to men, both superficial and deep, about what women want, like and need, I'd have to share this list. Again, this is just me and I am pretty sure a good amount of women, although not all:

1. A good suit- not just any suit, not some baggy suit, not some maroon or lime colored suit, not some long jacket Steve Harvey suit. I'm talking about Justin Timberlake "Suit and Tie" well tailored suit in black, gray, navy or fine (not those wide) stripped suits. I mean, darn, a guy in a well tailored suit just looks awesome. So if I'm at a happy hour and you just came from work in your Suit and Tie, I might give you a few double takes. I like it, I like it a lot.
2. Follow through- it's so darn simple but so hard for some folk. If you say you gonna call, CALL! If you are running late, let me know! I don't care what you say, must I say it? ACTIONS speak LOUDER than words! If you are a man of your word, trust she will have less to complain/nag you about.
3. Plan something- If you call a woman for a first date, the day of, and say "hey baby, let's go out to dinner at 7" and it's 6pm! Uh-uh, not going to happen. I am worth the planning, especially for the first date! And to assume I don't have anything else to do but wait for your call is insulting. If you are interested in me so are others so you shouldn't assume I have nothing going on. Make a girl feel special.
4. Arrogance v. Swag- Arrogance- no. Swag- yes. It's a fine line but a line none the less. Let's be honest, you think Beyoncé would be married to Jay-Z if he had no swag? But cockiness is not cute on anyone. Have confidence but don't be rude or annoying. Be a gentleman and don't come with the games.
5. Attention- we women need it. Obviously if you are watching the game (any game) and we decide to talk to you about how much our friend Becky pisses us off when she keeps talking about her bad behind kids you might not be interested. But if we are out on a date with you and you are busy checking your text and email or checking out the girl who just walked past, you have lost me. If I have to say "are you listening to me", it does not look well for you.
6. Grooming- teeth- fix em, nails- file em, hair- trim/cut it, body- eat a veggie or two and hit the gym once in a while to at least keep a healthy heart (you don't have to look like Dwyane "the Rock" Johnson...unless you want to, I mean I won't try to stop you)

I can probably think of some more but I think this is good for now!

You know you are getting older when...

I've been going out a bit more recently with new (and old) friends and I've come to realize something about myself and nightlife...I'm getting old. And although I don't look it (no laughing) sometimes I just feel that, like Danny Glover in Lethal Weapon, "I'm too damn old for this s%$#". Some things I've noticed that have highlighted my more "mature outlook" on life:

1. Crowds- I don't like em. When people bump against me I feel like fighting, especially when they don't say sorry or excuse me.
2. RSVP tables- So I got to pay $300 plus to have a darn seat? I can sit for free at home so that is where I shall go. My feet hurt.
3. FMH shoes- Known as F&*% Me Heels. I have some high platform pumps but I will only wear them on a date where I can sit down. I see all these young chicks coming in the lounge with high heels and short dresses and I all I can see is the pain forget the cute look. Give me a kitten heel or boot and I'm good and if I dare wear a heel over 2 inches then I'm packing foldable flats. #bunionsaintcute
4. Loud music- How can you have a conversation and meet people? Gone are the days where I'm going to give my number to some dude simply after sharing a dance or two. I want to talk to you and engage to help me determine whether I like you or not. A smile and a two step is not enough. Turn the music down!
5. Taking Pictures- I used to do this all the time when going on and if there is a special occasion or I'm on vacation then I will still remember to do so. But now if I'm going out "just because", I don't take pics anymore, no matter how fierce I look. But I want to. I need to keep documenting my fabulousness so I can prove to my future kids that at one time I was the hotness!
6. Parking- I don't like having to walk blocks and blocks from my car to get to the bar/lounge. I will gladly pay valet now to avoid that pain filled walk at the end of the night in my heels to my car. I'm grown, I can afford it...within reason.
7. Late night noshing- can't do it anymore. Gone are the days where I can grab a slice after a night of partying and not expect to look like a contestant on the Biggest Loser. Party's over, and so is eating until the morning!
8. Young boys- I am now old when I am not concerned about getting hit on by a "dirty old man" but instead a little boy (aka 20 something). Yes it's flattering but come on! I just got hit on by a Chris Brown looking child the other day and I was so astonished I called him boy. Okay, I know it was wrong and I'll do better but he looked like a child. "Ain't nobody got time for that".
9. Saturdays- So some of my friends and I have determined that perhaps Saturdays are not for people over 30 unless we are out on a date. If you don't want to be drowned out by 20 somethings drunk and stepping on your toes then maybe the night for you is a Thursday or a happy hour on a Friday into the night. I just don't want to be the angry chick in the club holding her coat and purse tight to her because she isn't feeling the crowd. Sometimes you gotta know when to call it quits. (Side note, I asked my mom what night is good for the 50 and up crowd now and she said Monday or Tuesday, haha, makes sense, many of them are retired now so they can party any night!)
10. 12am- That's my goal. Yes, I now have a goal to how late I will force myself to hang out because my old behind is quite fine with falling asleep by 10 on a Friday night, which feels a bit sad. I don't feel like a loser if I get home by 12. I feel I have accomplished my goal of being cool by getting home that time. Any earlier and I am officially old. (As reference, my mom said she was out hanging late when she got home by 9 soo). It used to be that if I was in bed before 2am on a Friday or Saturday something went wrong. If that happens now, well I've had one heck of a night!

Winter time blues

I can't take it!!!
This cold weather, unaccompanied by any fun snow (translate: enough to close the office for a day or two), is driving me mad.
All I can think about are all the things I miss and would do when the weather gets warmer.
To help me through this cold weather blues I will comfort myself with thoughts of the following things about warmer weather that I can't wait to do:

1. rooftop happy hours
2. jogging/walking/hiking outdoors
3. dinning al fresco (and people watching)
4. SANDALS and open toed shoes
5. summer dresses with no stockings
6. windows open/down
7. smoothies (I know I can drink them now but it's too cold for cold drinks)
8. THE SUN
9. shopping outdoors (ex. Georgetown area)
10. MOTIVATION/INSPIRATION (yes I am just crazy lazy in the cold weather and uninspired)
11. WARMTH (tired of the cold air burning my nostrils and causing me pain)
12. daylight savings (tired of waking up in the dark and coming home in the dark, although it's getting better now)

My Make-up Must haves

Every once in a while I like to alienate any men who might read this blog and do a posting strictly for the ladies. So, if you have read some earlier posts you know that I am a bit of a makeup junkie. I've tried to tone it back because make up really does expire after a few months to years so I don't want to keep investing without throwing away so I've become very particular about what I buy.
This lead me to think up this post. When it comes to make up, here are the must have products that I don't mind buying again and again:

• Mascara- I am a big mascara girl but since you are supposed to trash it after three months (and remember don't pump mascara just take the wand out, otherwise you are exposing it to more bacteria) I don't like spending a lot on it (my fav expensive brand is Benefits Cosmetics They're Real). So I am always in search for a good drugstore brand mascara. Right now I'm loving Photo Ready 3D volume. Gives me great volume and length without the high cost and stressful false lash application.

• Powder- I have oily skin so I'm always looking for a great powder to set my makeup to avoid the "just went for jog" sweaty look. Makeup Forever HD Microfinish powder sets my makeup wonderfully without giving me that ashy face that sometime doesn't pop up until you see the picture of yourself looking like a ghost. A bit pricy but worth it (found at Sephora)

• BB Cream- ever since I heard of the Beauty Balm, first made famous in Asia before hitting the states, I was sold. An all in one cream that cuts down on the many products that I would apply on my face, thus saving time and money? I'm in! My department store option is Smashbox Camera Ready BB Cream. It moisturizes, has SPF, primes and controls oil. Two good drugstore options are Garnier and Rimmel. Garnier just added one for oily skin which matifies, protects, minimizes pores, evens out skin and few other things. Rimmel does the same.

• Lipstick- I love a long wear lipstick that doesn't make my lips dry and peel. Loreal Infalliable lipstick is my go to for that. They have a large selection and I always get caught up trying to find a shade to buy.

• Eyeliner- I'm a liquid liner girl all the way. Your eyes Will pop with liquid liner, you don't even need eyeshadow and you will have a "notice me" look. But when I don't feel like steadying my arm to get that perfect line, I go to Maybelline Eye Studio Master Drama Eyeliner. It gives the staying power and bold black color a liquid will without the hassle.

• Blush- Ahh, the power of the blush. Many women sleep on this essential makeup. But I am telling you- don't! It will transform your face. Just don't go heavy, or you Will look like a clown. I'm no expert on blush so I like the easy go-to when finding the right color. I like Cargo's blush because it comes in several shades in one can which can serve as a bronzer, blush and highlighter (I'm not so great at contouring but I swear if I could I'd be one fierce drag queen). I also love Bare Minerals blush. For a more sensible budget, I go to NYX blush (they are also good for eyeshadow)

Well hope this helps anyone out there looking for some makeup brand ideas. If you do try these brands or have tried them in the past please let me know how you made out with them.

Health-ish and it taste good too

So in my quest to keep my calorie intake low I am struggling to find foods that will not make me mourn pizza, French fries, hot wings, cupcakes, twizzlers...I'm sad now.

Moment of silence for high calorie foods.

Okay, back on track. So I've been searching high and low for lower calorie and/or healthy foods to eat that will help me get this 10 pounds off. Exercising has not changed my world so it is very apparent that calories are the key. So, exercise, low calories and extra water together make the difference. I am aiming for 64 oz a day of water intake. Not hard during the weekday, very hard on the weekends. I lost weight last time by increasing my water intake so why not try it again? If you do this, stay near a bathroom.

I put myself on a 1250-1300 calorie limit during the weekdays with Friday and Saturday being my cheat days. I ran through my local Giant and Trader Joes and have found the following foods/meals:

Dry seasoned kale chips- Gross, don't eat 'em
Dried ginger- eh, I did not care for them, best to just drink ginger
Dry seasoned green beans- yummy, they can come close to replacing my chip need
Pita chips- yummy but I can easily over eat these
Dried mango- yummy, if eaten according to serving size. This can fill my sweet tooth void.
100 calorie snack packs- helps limit my portion issue and sweet tooth
Weight watchers or smart ones ice cream desserts- again, limits my portions and satisfies the sweet tooth without that bitter sugarless sweets taste
Fiber one or Special K cereals or oatmeal with walnuts and bananas (or even banana chips)- makes it filling and is yummy. Good for breakfast or a low cal dinner (lunch is my biggest meal)
Salads- I actually love salad but typically hated the salads I made at home until I made these two options:
1)Salmon salad- an ex put me on to this- grilled salmon with lettuce or spinach or some green, with a homemade dressing of part olive oil, part lemon and a bit of substitute sugar. Yum!
2)Southwestern salad- I mixed spinach salad with cut up jalapenos, red peppers, cucumbers, southwestern style salsa (from Giant in the fresh produce section) and chopped southwestern chicken cut up (can do prepackaged), use any dressing you like (I used a sesame dressing I had in my fridge)
Low carb wrap- I have made many snacks/meals with this. First it's important to use the low carb tortilla wrap, high in fiber. Then I:
1) spread a bit of peanut butter on then pour a bit of honey over it, fold it and eat it, sweet and low carb/calorie,
2)pizza- spread marinara sauce, mozzarella cheese, any toppings you'd eat on a pizza. I use red bell peppers, jalepeons. Heat for bit in the oven or toaster oven,
3)use as the bread for a grilled veggie (like squash, zucchini and pepper)/melted mozzarella sandwich or turkey burger

That's it for now but I'll share more ideas as I come up with them. I just found a recipe for lower calorie cupcakes and real sized cookies and I'm hearing more and more about the dietary benefits of nettle tea so to be continued!

Me and my girls

Just finished watching one of my all time favorite friend movies, Romy and Michele's High School Reunion. I adore a good gal pal movie. Maybe it's because I've never had friends on the level I see in these movies. Not to say my friends aren't great but there is a level of closeness or "ride or dieness" that I haven't had with my friends since probably college. As an adult I still need my girls but the reality is there are more distractions as adults. We have jobs, move, get married, have babies. And we just don't remain as close anymore.
So, when I see that a god girlfriend movie is on, I have to stop and watch and smile. Here are some of my top ones and why:

1. Romy and Michelle's High school Reunion: they were two peas in a pod and had each other's backs. Even when they had a spat it ended quickly when one of them was in trouble. They got over the judgment and accepted each other as is. True friends don't hold grudges for long.
2. Sex and the City: so the sequel sucked but the first was still awesome to me. I loved how they dropped everything and came to Carrie's aid when she got left at the alter by Big. Even leaving to go out of the country with her. And who can forget Carrie getting out of bed on NYE night and taking the subway all the way from Manhattans to Brooklyn to be with Miranda when she was feeling blue from her separation from Steve.
3. Waiting to Exhale: I can't recall, did these women ever fight with each other? They were there for one another and that was all that mattered. And who doesn't love a good glass of wine, some music and some girl talk with your friends?
4. Steel Magnolias (the original): young or old, rich or poor, these women were true blue and tight like glue and were there for each other when tragedy stuck.
5. Thelma and Louise: drove off a cliff together, nuff said (btw- I wouldn't do that for my closest gal pal)
6. The Color Purple: Not sure if this was meant to be a girlfriend movie but it is to me. It shows how through tough times and bad situations the strength of female friendship can triumph. And who doesn't cry at the end when the sisters hand clap in the field. sniff sniff
7. Beaches: they were friends as kids, fell apart, came back together and were with each other to the end.

Any movies I'm missing?